Grumbles and Gripes

Is anyone else having trouble with ff.net? I finally realised that I could put a story on there (been writing so much NC 17 recently) and I went to upload one. It said upload successful but when I went to create story it said I hadn't uploaded anything. Been like that since yesterday.

I'm also recovering from being in a major strop last night. Don't get that way often but when I do I can't seem to pull out of it for hours and grump around beong tetchy and touchy and snarling.

What set me off was husband refusing to take the girls to E's soccer match and leave me behind. It would have meant 90 minutes alone in the house. Ask any mother what their idea of bliss is and I'm betting alone time is high on the list. I could have done so much that I can't when L is around (she's 2). I wouldn't have headed to the computer to read smut either. I would have weeded the front garden (no fence so can't do that in the day as L would be on the road in about three seconds flat and squashed.) I could have ironed ( L grabs the cord which freaks me and I can't leave her alone for long enough to do it with her somewhere else). I could have just buzzed around and done a huge clean up without a little demon trailing me and undoing everything or trashing a room because I wasn't watching her.

I could've just refused to go. Not like he could manhandle me into the car. He said he wanted us to go as a family. Bollocks. It's a soccer game. She has one every week. it's not like a school play or something. I managed to go to the practise the night before all on my own and mind L while E played. Then he said I get time alone on a Thursday when I go to the library to volunteer. Be still my beating heart.

I'm done ranting. I'm getting cross again which defeats the purpose of venting. I'm also aware that this is a trivial, insignificant thing to get worked up over but hey, that's sort of my life. Worst of it was that he said the house looked "all right". It's a tip. It needs me to do stuff at it and sometimes I'm in the mood. Now I'm not so it can stay messy.

Giles thoughts

I was just reading a post in scarlettgirl's journal in which she's talking about Giles with Buffy. Rather than write reams over there I shuffled back to my own comfy chair to waffle.

I'm English so none of the Scoobies have ever seemed too young for sex to me. When Giles met Bufy she was 16 so she was legal in the culture I grew up in. No squick factor with corrupting minors. Just wish when I first had sex (at sixteen) it was with someone like Giles instead of who it was with. Oh, for a time machine so I could seduce an older man instead (and I know just who I'd have gone for - now). Darn.

Umm. Giles. I've never seen him as a father figure to the Scoobs. Quentin might have said Giles had a father's love for Buffy but this is Quentin. He's a short sighted pillock. I got my revenge by torturing him and making him insane in a fic but I still hold a grudge. Giles connived with them to fool their parents. Often. He was an older friend, a mentor, a teacher. They're not necessarily parental characteristics. Most teens would do anything to avoid learning from their parents, much less confiding in them. So I don't get an incest squick from Buffy/Giles either.

So why doesn't it appeal to me? Because Buffy likes a little monster in her man? No. Ripper's about as tough as they come. On a mundane level, she would hurt him if she wasn't careful but Parker survived (pity) as did Riley after the drugs wore off. He knows her secret identity, he knows her weaknesses and her strengths...maybe too well. Maybe they've built up such a close relationship that adding a sexual, romantic element to it would be fatal.

Or maybe (whisper it) I just don't think she's good enough for him and he deserves better. I admit it. I have Buffy issues. Don't hate me or throw pointy things.