So wrong. So very, very wrong

David and I went to the LCBO (place you buy wine/spirits/beer from in Ontario; there's also The Beer Store. Three guesses.) tonight.

A display by the door caught my eye and I peered curiously at a bottle of bubble flavored vodka by Three Olives (page here.

Bubble flavor? My first thought was bubble tea, but then a more horrible thought occurred to me.

"If this is BUBBLEGUM flavor," I told David through my teeth, "I'm smashing every bottle as a service to humanity."

It was.

I restrained myself.

Last visit, I was left reeling by sweet tea flavor vodka. Tonight, in addition to the atrocity of which I will not speak, there was COCONUT flavored.

What madness is this? Vodka tastes of nothing much (well, it does, but...) and that is why it's an excellent mixer. Muddying it with clementine, apricot, blueberry and all the other stuff people like Smirnoff have been shoving in them over the past few years is reaching levels of pure silliness.

Some of them might taste nice; I have tried a few though, and the bottles languish, barely touched, on the shelf.

Vodka has its own subtle taste, one I cheerfully drown with coke mostly, but I appreciate its clarity, its kick.

Bubblegum? BUBBLEGUM?

No. A world of no.