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Meh. Got a nice idea for a G/X snippet, set when Xander was working at Giles' house at the start of S4, one that's been in my head for weeks, and I can't write it. I know what I want to say, can't say it. It's at 400 words, needs about four more sentences and I can't do it.
I left it overnight; didn't help. I've written/deleted over and over. I've gone at it in a 'fuck you, you bloody fic, you will behave' attitude and it's snorted at me derisively.
I haven't written anything for a few days, not really. Just little extra bits of BCD as I amend it.
Darn. Knew this would happen. Wrote masses and now I'm all squeezed out. ::waits to recharge::
Nasty sinus headache isn't helping either.
New Angel tonight though, but before that I have to grab E off the school bus and hurtle down to the dentists for her check up, race back, feed us all and whizz out to Brownies/library volunteering when I just want to crawl into bed and rest.
Ah, hell with it. Here's the G/X anyway; LJs are made for fragments like this, yes? And perhaps now I can do something else. Four hundred words in two days and a limp ending. Sheesh.:;kicks it moodily and slouches off::
Xander’s been here for an hour now and Giles has gradually, mercifully lost the erection that sprang up, ever hopeful, stupid and single-minded, the moment Xander smiled and asked what Giles wanted him to do.
Kneel for me, mouth open and ready, strip and bend over, legs too close together so I have to kick them apart, come screaming my name and make that name not sound like ‘friend’, ‘father’ or ‘fool’....
“More shelving, I’m afraid. I took another box or two out of storage.”
Xander nods, thinking perhaps, without too much shame, because he’s young and he still believes the world owes him a living, that Giles is doing this to make sure he has spending money, or for company because the summer holidays have ended and there’s no work for either of them.
Neither is true. Xander’s babbling just makes the silence between the words louder, and Giles’ impotence of spirit is in no way lessened by his cock’s ability to stiffen when a boy he’s known for years rolls up his sleeves and exposes bare, brown arms.
Xander’s body...he’s seen it all before, head to toe. Xander’s shrugged out of wet clothes in front of him; demon-slimed or just muddy, eased more slowly out of ripped clothes and let Giles tend to wounds placed too awkwardly for him to deal with. Giles has touched, seen, smelled Xander from a distance of inches and never felt more than a mild twinge of appreciation for a body that, extracted from baggy brightness, is strong and young and therefore beautiful without trying.
Seen it all...so he shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t react the way he does when Xander reaches sideways and his shirt hikes up to show a narrow strip of bare back, shouldn’t want to follow the groove of spine with finger or tongue in both directions...but he does, oh he does.
He knows why, too. Worked it out the first day when Xander’s hands curled around the dollar bills Giles had counted out into his palm and Giles had to step back, step away, back away, run because he’d just paid Xander for being at his beck and call for two hours and that changed everything.
Because if he’d paid Xander for his time, one could argue that during that time, Xander was his.
Bought and paid for.
Giles has no intention of asking Xander to do anything beyond remember that 'I' comes before 'J' but that's hardly the point.
He's paying Xander money to be with him. There's a word for that.
I really hate that ending.
ETA I've changed it. Thanks, Kindkit and Soundingsea :;smooches::
I left it overnight; didn't help. I've written/deleted over and over. I've gone at it in a 'fuck you, you bloody fic, you will behave' attitude and it's snorted at me derisively.
I haven't written anything for a few days, not really. Just little extra bits of BCD as I amend it.
Darn. Knew this would happen. Wrote masses and now I'm all squeezed out. ::waits to recharge::
Nasty sinus headache isn't helping either.
New Angel tonight though, but before that I have to grab E off the school bus and hurtle down to the dentists for her check up, race back, feed us all and whizz out to Brownies/library volunteering when I just want to crawl into bed and rest.
Ah, hell with it. Here's the G/X anyway; LJs are made for fragments like this, yes? And perhaps now I can do something else. Four hundred words in two days and a limp ending. Sheesh.:;kicks it moodily and slouches off::
Xander’s been here for an hour now and Giles has gradually, mercifully lost the erection that sprang up, ever hopeful, stupid and single-minded, the moment Xander smiled and asked what Giles wanted him to do.
Kneel for me, mouth open and ready, strip and bend over, legs too close together so I have to kick them apart, come screaming my name and make that name not sound like ‘friend’, ‘father’ or ‘fool’....
“More shelving, I’m afraid. I took another box or two out of storage.”
Xander nods, thinking perhaps, without too much shame, because he’s young and he still believes the world owes him a living, that Giles is doing this to make sure he has spending money, or for company because the summer holidays have ended and there’s no work for either of them.
Neither is true. Xander’s babbling just makes the silence between the words louder, and Giles’ impotence of spirit is in no way lessened by his cock’s ability to stiffen when a boy he’s known for years rolls up his sleeves and exposes bare, brown arms.
Xander’s body...he’s seen it all before, head to toe. Xander’s shrugged out of wet clothes in front of him; demon-slimed or just muddy, eased more slowly out of ripped clothes and let Giles tend to wounds placed too awkwardly for him to deal with. Giles has touched, seen, smelled Xander from a distance of inches and never felt more than a mild twinge of appreciation for a body that, extracted from baggy brightness, is strong and young and therefore beautiful without trying.
Seen it all...so he shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t react the way he does when Xander reaches sideways and his shirt hikes up to show a narrow strip of bare back, shouldn’t want to follow the groove of spine with finger or tongue in both directions...but he does, oh he does.
He knows why, too. Worked it out the first day when Xander’s hands curled around the dollar bills Giles had counted out into his palm and Giles had to step back, step away, back away, run because he’d just paid Xander for being at his beck and call for two hours and that changed everything.
Because if he’d paid Xander for his time, one could argue that during that time, Xander was his.
Bought and paid for.
Giles has no intention of asking Xander to do anything beyond remember that 'I' comes before 'J' but that's hardly the point.
He's paying Xander money to be with him. There's a word for that.
I really hate that ending.
ETA I've changed it. Thanks, Kindkit and Soundingsea :;smooches::