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I just had some thoughtful feedback on this fic (hope they don't mind me quoting it in part)that says,
"I enjoyed the story up till the end, at which point I got temporarily
confused by the pivotal line, “Tonight. I’ll take it tonight.”
It took me quite awhile to figure out that Xander was talking about
swallowing the forget charm. At first I'd thought he was remembering
something (a quote from Spike, like a song running through his head). Then
I thought it might be a forgotten quote from the school scene on the TV
show, which was frustrating for me. Eventually I figured out that he was
finally planning to forget Spike.
Anyways, maybe it's just me, but I've never had such trouble, or gotten so
distracted with anything else in any of your stories. If you take a survey
and everyone has to stop to figure out that he is talking about the forget
charm, you might want to change the line to clarify that. It sort of reduced
the impact of the story for me when I hit the roadblock."
It would be simple to add in a line about the charm but I don't want to change it unless this is a major problem; did it confuse anyone else? I'd be grateful for input. I know I have had endings that confused people in the past (Lucky Number, heh, heh...but I'm not changing _that_ ending. I'll explain it but I'm not changing it. Still giggle when I read it)and the last thing I want is for people to finish the story feeling frustrated and confused.
"I enjoyed the story up till the end, at which point I got temporarily
confused by the pivotal line, “Tonight. I’ll take it tonight.”
It took me quite awhile to figure out that Xander was talking about
swallowing the forget charm. At first I'd thought he was remembering
something (a quote from Spike, like a song running through his head). Then
I thought it might be a forgotten quote from the school scene on the TV
show, which was frustrating for me. Eventually I figured out that he was
finally planning to forget Spike.
Anyways, maybe it's just me, but I've never had such trouble, or gotten so
distracted with anything else in any of your stories. If you take a survey
and everyone has to stop to figure out that he is talking about the forget
charm, you might want to change the line to clarify that. It sort of reduced
the impact of the story for me when I hit the roadblock."
It would be simple to add in a line about the charm but I don't want to change it unless this is a major problem; did it confuse anyone else? I'd be grateful for input. I know I have had endings that confused people in the past (Lucky Number, heh, heh...but I'm not changing _that_ ending. I'll explain it but I'm not changing it. Still giggle when I read it)and the last thing I want is for people to finish the story feeling frustrated and confused.